I think it may finally be time to say goodbye to my beloved...
Feb 1st
Lefkowitz: your blog has been an utter disappointment the past few days
Simko: I know I know I knowwww
Simko: I know I know I knowwww
Jan 31st
Jan 31st
ActionScript 3.0 did me dirty today… Maybe that whole “fundamental restructuring of the...
Jan 31st
Watch
The BlackBerry Helmut: Protect your skull while you destroy your thumbs…
Jan 31st
“I’m lucky to not have a real job, to be able to...”
— Gwen Stefani
— Gwen Stefani
Jan 30th
More often than not, I wish my phone had a better camera....
Jan 30th
Done with meetings and heading to grab dinner with old...
Jan 30th
Man Caught With Cocaine Load Worth $15...
Jan 30th
I really love these glasses. Immeasurable amounts. Who makes...
Jan 30th
I feel somewhat obligated to apologize for the lack of (interesting and original) posts lately....
Jan 30th
Can O' Cheeseburger
Jan 29th
o.b. Tampon Advertisement. Wreaking havoc on a pool near...
Jan 29th
Wynn MiniBar Motion Sensors
Jan 29th
Happy Mother’s Day!
Jan 29th
I’ll be the first to admit my eating habits are bad (my favorite kitchen appliance is the...
Jan 29th
Ribbit. Ribbit.
Jan 28th
How to Cheat a Polygraph Test
Jan 28th
Lately, I can’t figure out if wishing there were more...
Jan 28th
“This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never...”
— Alfred Hitchcock
— Alfred Hitchcock
Jan 28th
Watch
Martin Scorsese portrays “Key to Reserva” to be based on a recently discovered Alfred...
Jan 28th
Munson: i'm confused, does that store sell rims? total non sequitur, but "She really enjoys her peas" is a sentence that just wouldn't work if it was said aloud.
Simko: I'd ask where that came from but instead I'll just confirm you being right
Munson: there were some peas in the freezer. there not mine. i assume there gabby's roommate's. i suppose i shouldn't eat her peas.
Simko: ...
Munson: i misused they're twice. i know but i just wanted to get to the part about eating herpes
Simko: ...
Munson: give it a while, it'll sink in
Simko: like a VD
Munson: like herpes
Simko: I just saw a great cartoon - summarized "I just had a baby... it was delicious."
Munson: ah. she ate the baby
Simko: Apparently
Munson: i wonder if she had a side of peas
Simko: I'd ask where that came from but instead I'll just confirm you being right
Munson: there were some peas in the freezer. there not mine. i assume there gabby's roommate's. i suppose i shouldn't eat her peas.
Simko: ...
Munson: i misused they're twice. i know but i just wanted to get to the part about eating herpes
Simko: ...
Munson: give it a while, it'll sink in
Simko: like a VD
Munson: like herpes
Simko: I just saw a great cartoon - summarized "I just had a baby... it was delicious."
Munson: ah. she ate the baby
Simko: Apparently
Munson: i wonder if she had a side of peas
Jan 28th
“I don’t set out to offend or shock, but I also...”
— Sarah Silverman
— Sarah Silverman
Jan 28th
I just left a meeting here and yes, those are all ping pong...
Jan 28th
'I will never take this camping' water...
Jan 28th
This is (still) one of my favorite quotes from Trainspotting:
“Choose life. Choose a job....
Jan 28th
This time last week Natasha Elghanayan and Samantha Feder...
Jan 28th
Otto Bell recently gave me a t-shirt that says:
My dad read The Economist and all I got was this...
Jan 27th
Somewhere between Soho House and Bungalow 8, we discovered...
Jan 27th
The floor also had a piano which Otto Bell helped himself...
Jan 27th
On the third floor of The Chelsea Art Museum there is a room...
Jan 27th
Since Alexa Rad left on her brief trip the West Coast (this...
Jan 27th
Munson: you coming out to LA for Jeopardy? I know you only need the slightest prodding
Simko: I'll take 'Obviously' for 400 Alex...
Simko: I'll take 'Obviously' for 400 Alex...
Jan 26th
Ready to Wear Technology
Jan 26th
While I was out running errands I came across a man packed...
Jan 26th
Once again, my inexplicable obsession with the minds of...
Jan 26th
Candidate Awareness
Jan 25th
“At the quarry in July, my cousins told me the water was...”
— Theresa Duncan
— Theresa Duncan
Jan 25th
Every now and then an (over-circulated) email makes me...
Jan 25th
“Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult...”
— Walter Bagehot
— Walter Bagehot
Jan 25th
Watch
“New Soul” by Yael Naim - This reminds me of when I moved into (and decorated) my...
Jan 25th
Simko: It's annoying how if you nap when you are sick you only wake up feeling worse
Feder: it's not fair - the Nap Gods won't allow you to nap if you're over the age of 10 and that's bullshit, because I fully need more good naps now than I did as a toddler and those naps were forced on me
Simko: Amen...
Feder: it's not fair - the Nap Gods won't allow you to nap if you're over the age of 10 and that's bullshit, because I fully need more good naps now than I did as a toddler and those naps were forced on me
Simko: Amen...
Jan 25th
Finally! A solution for the small closets that Manhattan...
Jan 25th
“When I’m working on projects that I don’t care...”
— Marco Arment
— Marco Arment
Jan 25th
Swooooooooooooon…
Jan 25th
Hate Hate Hate…
A radical Baptist church in Kansas known for picketing the funerals of...
Jan 24th
“Let go and let God.”
— Marvin Scott Jarrett
— Marvin Scott Jarrett
Jan 24th
Peter Allen via his Flickr…
Jan 24th
Occasionally, I see a Facebook photo-album title that is...
Jan 24th
Matt Oliver is back from Africa with stories galore, and...
Jan 24th
“Krystal Simpson may as well have let the show’s...”
— Tom Breihan (being cruel to...
— Tom Breihan (being cruel to...
Jan 24th
Those kids and their damn Vespas…
Jan 24th
Crap Email: How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch, Sit In Your Parked Car With...
Jan 24th
Woah.
Jan 24th
The complete disarray of my inbox is now starting to remind me of an intense Tetris game (maybe...
Jan 24th
I went to find an old photo of a friend’s apartment...
Jan 24th
And here I almost thought money was the root of all...
Jan 24th
“There was a point when it all really took off and got quite...”
— Kate Moss
— Kate Moss
Jan 24th
Jan 24th
After a very tiring day, while attempting to manage my inbox chaos as promised, I came to a long...
Jan 24th
Andrews: that doesn't surprise me. you've always been really random
Simko: Not really...
Andrews: yes. I have countless examples
Simko: You have 10 seconds to name one
Andrews: the time all of us were talking about our favorite authors and you asked if "la cucaracha" had ever been on casey kasem's top 40 countdown
Simko: Disqualified - that was back before Google was all-knowing!
Andrews: the time you told us something about a bouncing pickle in connecticut?!
Simko: Ohhhhhh that reminds me...
Andrews: and here we go again
Simko: Not really...
Andrews: yes. I have countless examples
Simko: You have 10 seconds to name one
Andrews: the time all of us were talking about our favorite authors and you asked if "la cucaracha" had ever been on casey kasem's top 40 countdown
Simko: Disqualified - that was back before Google was all-knowing!
Andrews: the time you told us something about a bouncing pickle in connecticut?!
Simko: Ohhhhhh that reminds me...
Andrews: and here we go again
Jan 23rd
In the Spade family, Jack trumps all.
Jan 23rd
Blurb...
Jan 23rd
Holy penis-pump and anal-plug Batman! Whoops. Inappropriate....
Jan 23rd
I was supposed to go to a screening for Be Kind Rewind tonight (clearly I am still trying to make-up...
Jan 23rd
“Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe...”
— Alex DeLarge, A Clockwork...
— Alex DeLarge, A Clockwork...
Jan 23rd
Alex and his droogs…
Jan 23rd
Though I usually contain myself, whenever I see this...
Jan 23rd
Simko: I'm just a little frustrated with the design...
Morgenroth: Yeah - I kind of realized that when you threw your pen at the wall
Morgenroth: Yeah - I kind of realized that when you threw your pen at the wall
Jan 23rd
My inbox currently resembles something of a (literary) war zone. If you’ve written me (within...
Jan 23rd
I’ve seen pieces and sections of this card before but...
Jan 23rd
Simko: If you tell me I was somehow cut loose of the art-baby (that we gave a mutually creative birth to) while I gone - I shall beat you
Bell: Our art-baby continues to suckle at the nipple of my imagination in lieu of her absentee mother...
Bell: Our art-baby continues to suckle at the nipple of my imagination in lieu of her absentee mother...
Jan 22nd
“Aut viam inveniam aut faciam…”
Jan 22nd
Thanks to the Rad family (ie. Alexa Rad, Stephanie Rad and...
Jan 22nd
I went to Sundance and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a…
+ swarovski water bottle +...
Jan 22nd
Watch
Grand National’s “By the time I get home…” featuring Paz de la Huerta.
Jan 22nd
It should probably be noted that I slept about 3 hours in...
Jan 22nd
I adore early morning drives from the airport into...
Jan 22nd
“Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place...”
— The Sound of Music
— The Sound of Music
Jan 22nd
I’m sitting in the Salt Lake City airport with Gavin Crescenzo and Jordan Edwards (everyone...
Jan 21st
I’m not writing much today because I’m...
Jan 17th
People always ask me what I was like as a child. Well, look...
Jan 17th
Doctor: Are you familiar with the nutritional pyramid?
Simko: If by "nutritional pyramid" you mean Doritos...
Simko: If by "nutritional pyramid" you mean Doritos...
Jan 17th
I haven’t written much today because I haven’t slept. My brain is starting to feel like...
Jan 16th
“I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.”
— The Killers, All These Things...
— The Killers, All These Things...
Jan 16th
This taxi is on a one way street to crazy-town… Otto...
Jan 16th
“I figured out that the reason I couldn’t get through...”
— Erykah Badu
— Erykah Badu
Jan 16th
I think one of the worst parts of breaking up with (or away...
Jan 16th
Simko: Plus I'm going skiiiiiiiiing with Alexa and the crew!
Mom: Please be careful. Your father and I aren't buying you any more limbs.
Simko: Mom, it was knee surgery - you're making me sound like Heather Mills
Mom: I'm not kidding around about this
Simko: Neither am I - you're seriously making me sound like a pirate
Mom: Please be careful. Your father and I aren't buying you any more limbs.
Simko: Mom, it was knee surgery - you're making me sound like Heather Mills
Mom: I'm not kidding around about this
Simko: Neither am I - you're seriously making me sound like a pirate
Jan 16th
I’m not saying this tattoo would solve my current...
Jan 16th
U23D was nothing short of incredible. I’ll write all about it soon but right now I have design...
Jan 15th
At the U23D screening… For the first time (in probably...
Jan 15th
“I like your blog better on the weekends because the...”
Jan 15th
I wasn’t going to post anything else regarding the...
Jan 15th
In the last 24 hours I have seen two things that kicked considerable about of ass: a video of Bjork...
Jan 15th
Gizmodo just rained on my MacBook Air...
Jan 15th
The world’s thinnest notebook?! Oh, Steve…...
Jan 15th
“The features appear largely consistent with what was...”
— Re: Macworld Keynote Live,...
— Re: Macworld Keynote Live,...
Jan 15th
I realize that Bjork is acting a little crazy lately (huge...
Jan 15th
“Disclaimer that shit up!”
— Lee Breslouer
— Lee Breslouer
Jan 15th
I’ve decided that I’d really like to get a...
Jan 15th
To tide you over until 12...
Jan 15th
This article excerpt made my day. While the resource was unexpected, the thrill of the content was...
Jan 14th
According to Curbed Trump’s new building in Soho is...
Jan 14th
Simko: That's definitely going on le blog. May I?
Bell: Of course. Donald's march west must be stymied. Run Simko, tell your virtual village!
Bell: Of course. Donald's march west must be stymied. Run Simko, tell your virtual village!
Jan 14th
Excellent design by Slaughter Hanson. Olive it…
Jan 14th
via Mac Predictions
Jan 14th
While I’ve added a few more people to my follow-list, I’m definitely not looking to...
Jan 14th
The banners that are now hanging in San Francisco are only...
Jan 14th
Firearm Laws for New York
Jan 14th
Golden Globes in a nutshell… I still think There Will...
Jan 14th
Reader: Why do you bold the names of your friends when you post?
Simko: Because they are sometimes too lazy to read posts unless they see that their name is included.
Reader: Why don't you always bold their names?
Simko: Because I am sometimes too lazy...
Simko: Because they are sometimes too lazy to read posts unless they see that their name is included.
Reader: Why don't you always bold their names?
Simko: Because I am sometimes too lazy...
Jan 13th
“Spotted on Tumblr - S unfollows H… Trouble in lala...”
— Alexis Hyde
— Alexis Hyde
Jan 13th
“All the best people in life seem to like LINUX.”
— Steve Wozniak
— Steve Wozniak
Jan 13th
I’ve always been really fascinated by the environments...
Jan 13th
MacRumors = Gossip Girl (of technology world)
Jan 13th
Jan 13th
Richard Blakeley’s prank (at the Consumer Electronics Show last week) is fully documented via...
Jan 13th
“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day...”
— Confucius
— Confucius
Jan 13th
Guest of a Guest is exactly the sort of blog I would write...
Jan 13th
Simko: So you're a professional ping-pong player?
Raharinosy: Yes
Simko: Seriously?
Raharinosy: I am.
Simko: How far can you go in the game of ping-pong?
Raharinosy: Well... I'm training for the 2012 Olympics.
Simko: You just might be my favorite person... Ever.
Raharinosy: Yes
Simko: Seriously?
Raharinosy: I am.
Simko: How far can you go in the game of ping-pong?
Raharinosy: Well... I'm training for the 2012 Olympics.
Simko: You just might be my favorite person... Ever.
Jan 13th
“I have nothing to wear and 20 minutes to put it on!”
— Justine Javier-Borja
— Justine Javier-Borja
Jan 13th
After Beatrice we relocated to Norwood. Similar to Cipriani...
Jan 13th
Last night I went with Justine Javier-Borja and Franck...
Jan 13th
Javier-Borja: Coming to Bea - non negotiable (just in case you were contemplating that)
Simko: I saw that clause coming from a mile away
Simko: I saw that clause coming from a mile away
Jan 12th
Watch
“And I miss you… I wish you would’ve put yourself in my suitcase.”
Jan 12th
Game over for Stereo?
Jan 12th
The photo above is of the (coffee stained) reservation book...
Jan 12th
“Party with the Democrats, do business with the Republicans.”
— Daddy Simko
— Daddy Simko
Jan 12th
Simko: It's sort of awkward
Munson: No - awkward is me currently standing in Target holding a gallon of milk and a velvet blazer while talking to you
Munson: No - awkward is me currently standing in Target holding a gallon of milk and a velvet blazer while talking to you
Jan 12th
A grown man (wearing a full suit and carrying a briefcase) just stopped to tell me that he liked my...
Jan 11th
Raspail Cascade-Print Tote bag by Yves Saint Laurent…...
Jan 11th
Similar to the state of my apartment currently (sans the...
Jan 11th
(More) Harold and Kumar...
Jan 11th
Two steps forward and two steps back…
Jan 11th
Alexander: if you do quote that one leave my name off or at least the date
Simko: Well, it's an improvement from "scum sucking buttom-feeder that is quicker to his hidden roofie then a drunk to an open bar"... I wanted to quote that but nothing rains on a social parade like date-rape-drug (related) jokes.
Alexander: no no that one is fine
Simko: Well, it's an improvement from "scum sucking buttom-feeder that is quicker to his hidden roofie then a drunk to an open bar"... I wanted to quote that but nothing rains on a social parade like date-rape-drug (related) jokes.
Alexander: no no that one is fine
Jan 11th
David Alexander, dear friend and notorious ladies-man, has started a blog. If this entry is any...
Jan 11th
99 Cent by Andreas Gursky
Jan 11th
Watch
Hackett: Snowing here (to clarify - Baghdad AND Iran) for the first time in 100 years Simko: Oh...
Jan 11th
Keeping it in the family...
Jan 11th
Marc Jacobs has finally released his new advertisements...
Jan 11th
“Sometimes the real fun is in bad taste!”
— John Galliano
— John Galliano
Jan 11th
Ironically, this photo of Otto Bell smoking was a complete...
Jan 11th
Last night, Kevin Crawford invited me to Aspen for a...
Jan 11th
I took this with my phone the last time I was in San...
Jan 10th
Husband Store email content (as mentioned in the previous screen shot). Predictably stupid though...
Jan 10th
Awkward - Especially because I don’t really wear...
Jan 10th
Drive it like you stole it.
Jan 10th
Anonymous: I was remiss to invite you to my Birthday. I know you won't come so I don't think you are offended you didn't receive an invite - but I definitely thought of you!
Simko: WTF?!
Anonymous: And if you were to come I would be totally ecstatic and overjoyed to throw some D's on that bitch with you.
Simko: WTF?!
Anonymous: And if you were to come I would be totally ecstatic and overjoyed to throw some D's on that bitch with you.
Jan 10th
The table is set.
Jan 10th
After GenArt, dinner, etc. Otto and I decided to ditch the...
Jan 10th
“A word to the wise is infuriating.”
— Hunter S. Thompson
— Hunter S. Thompson
Jan 10th
Watch
Bo Fo Sho… Months later and it’s still hilarious.
Jan 10th
“Well, on a scale of 1-10 I feel like about 10 people would...”
— Lauren Rae Levy
— Lauren Rae Levy
Jan 10th
Lauren Rae Levy just sent me a link to this Craigslist add....
Jan 10th
This just screams “boarding school” to me…
Jan 9th
“So I went into my living room, reached into a cabinet above...”
— Adam Goldstein
— Adam Goldstein
Jan 9th
As a child (terror), I once put a Barbie Doll in the...
Jan 9th
“Experience is one thing you can’t get for nothing.”
— Oscar Wilde
— Oscar Wilde
Jan 9th
For the first twelve years of our marriage Beth and I happily set the neighborhood standard for...
Jan 9th
I spy with my little eye - typographical confetti?!
Jan 9th
“I’d prefer an altogether more dashing approach -...”
— Otto Bell
— Otto Bell
Jan 9th
NEUARMY
Jan 9th
In my closet there is a MacBook Pro graveyard. It is where...
Jan 9th
Golf Channel anchor advises young golfers to...
Jan 8th
Waitress: I just wanted to tell you that you look absolutely adorable! I just love your look!
Simko: Wow. Really? Thanks so much! Um... Adorable in a homeless-esque way right?
Waitress: No! No! Much more hobo or is it boho-chic?
Simko: Style dyslexia
Simko: Wow. Really? Thanks so much! Um... Adorable in a homeless-esque way right?
Waitress: No! No! Much more hobo or is it boho-chic?
Simko: Style dyslexia
Jan 8th
Pixar Animation Studios director, Lee Unkrich’s...
Jan 8th
“One should always aim to be interesting rather than exact.”
— Voltaire
— Voltaire
Jan 8th
Yesterday I declared that I wanted to temporarily relocate to the West Coast because I missed warm...
Jan 8th
DBS Aston Martin $265,000.00 Estimated wait time: 28...
Jan 8th
“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of...”
— Oscar Wilde
— Oscar Wilde
Jan 8th
I received a very unexpected (and well-intentioned) call from an ex-boyfriend that I haven’t...
Jan 8th
Jan 8th
Most hilarious email I received all day. For those of you that are not fluent in female sarcasm or...
Jan 7th
Lately, I’ve been really busy being an...
Jan 7th
“By the way - there are two of me.”
— Daniel Koch
— Daniel Koch
Jan 7th
Yesterday I had a late breakfast/brunch/lunch with Daniel...
Jan 7th
Bedtime stories of the future/futura…
Jan 7th
Jessica Helfand wrote a beautiful piece entitled “Remembering Paul Rand” which is...
Jan 7th
Jan 7th
“Without aesthetic, design is either the humdrum repetition...”
— Paul Rand
— Paul Rand
Jan 7th
Shawn Morgenroth took me out to dinner (at Cipriani) on...
Jan 7th
Javier-Borja: Do you think we'll just reach a point where we'll lead very ordinary and predictable lives?
Simko: Probably... Luckily, I doubt it will happen anytime soon.
Simko: Probably... Luckily, I doubt it will happen anytime soon.
Jan 7th
Give Me iPhone or Give Me Death
Jan 7th
Leggo my ego! It’s breakfast time (yo)…
Jan 7th
“It feels just like it should. So turn it up and drown…”
— Jamiroquai, Feels Just Like It...
— Jamiroquai, Feels Just Like It...
Jan 7th
I have neglected a lot of things this weekend - my inbox, my blog, my best friend… Whoops.
Jan 7th
Jackson Pollock… Got milk? (I’m clever, I know)
Jan 6th
Jan 6th
The art of grazing…
Jan 6th
Javier-Borja: Right. Let's point out the elephant in the room. That's a good idea.
Simko: Hahahhaa Do I look like cereal? Because I can't be chosen!
Javier-Borja: Hilarious. That's a nice twist.
Simko: I'm just trying to make Dino proud. I may or may not feel guilty for all the hours he put in and all the hours I never put out.
Javier-Borja: Ahahahahaha
Simko: Hahahhaa Do I look like cereal? Because I can't be chosen!
Javier-Borja: Hilarious. That's a nice twist.
Simko: I'm just trying to make Dino proud. I may or may not feel guilty for all the hours he put in and all the hours I never put out.
Javier-Borja: Ahahahahaha
Jan 6th
Justine Javier-Borja and I are plotting a delicious prank....
Jan 6th
Warning: There is no formation of a story in this post. It is simply an observation. You know what...
Jan 6th
I found this photo (labeled 6729982.jpg) floating around my...
Jan 5th
I sometime appreciate art that drops the ‘f...
Jan 5th
“And what happened to all the wine that I was storing in this...”
— Matt Oliver
— Matt Oliver
Jan 5th
aSmallWorld has been getting a bad wrap lately - between the...
Jan 5th
“Our friendship is a gasoline soaked rope and I’m...”
— Justine Javier-Borja
— Justine Javier-Borja
Jan 4th
via Alexander Lloyd…
Jan 4th
Schwartz: I believe she was described as both "dowdy and homily"
Simko: Well... It would appear that someone in her family may have double dipped to create her - if you get my drift
Schwartz: so basically she is her own cousin is what your saying?
Simko: Precisely
Simko: Well... It would appear that someone in her family may have double dipped to create her - if you get my drift
Schwartz: so basically she is her own cousin is what your saying?
Simko: Precisely
Jan 4th
Watch
More Quintessence Films… I adore their work.
Jan 4th
US Air defends title as most hated airline...
Jan 4th
Persephone (also by Jennifer Maestre) is made with...
Jan 4th
Aurora by Jennifer Maestre. This piece is made entirely from...
Jan 4th
“Simko, even your blog has ADD.”
— Tim Schneider
— Tim Schneider
Jan 4th
The bill for the repair of my heater (note the use of the word “repair” and not...
Jan 4th
The Philippe Starck edition of hermit crabs… Kidding.
Jan 4th
Creativity is the leisure concept of the future. I really wish I could remember where I had just...
Jan 3rd
Jan 3rd
I was just trying to reference the date of a dinner I had last month (so that I could write a very...
Jan 3rd
Jan 3rd
Google meet politics, politics meet Google...
Jan 3rd
I received this Absolut bottle for Christmas…...
Jan 3rd
“Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?”
— Steve Jobs
— Steve Jobs
Jan 3rd
Unicef advertisements seem to be getting extreme. I’m...
Jan 3rd
Unexpectedly, I have been receiving a notable amount of emails regarding this little site....
Jan 3rd
Ejected baby not included?
Jan 3rd
“The good old days - before Macs were so popular and leg...”
— Samantha Bailey
— Samantha Bailey
Jan 3rd
New (and probably brief) obsession = anything anamorphic…
Jan 3rd
Jan 3rd
Mom: Have you ever read the article about the woman that was saved by her golden retriever when she choked on an apple?
Simko: No but this proves choking on an apple is easier than people think...
Mom: The dog knocked her down and jumped on her chest until he dislodged the apple from her airway.
Simko: Wow. Was the dog trained for such emergency acrobatics as doggy heimlich maneuver?
Mom: No. The woman has bruises from his paws... The whole story is amazing
Simko: Yeah
Mom: Your father and I were thinking that maybe you should get a golden retriever?
Simko: Stop it.
Simko: No but this proves choking on an apple is easier than people think...
Mom: The dog knocked her down and jumped on her chest until he dislodged the apple from her airway.
Simko: Wow. Was the dog trained for such emergency acrobatics as doggy heimlich maneuver?
Mom: No. The woman has bruises from his paws... The whole story is amazing
Simko: Yeah
Mom: Your father and I were thinking that maybe you should get a golden retriever?
Simko: Stop it.
Jan 3rd
Painting eyebrows on mannequins seems like it would be a...
Jan 3rd
“Revenues cover up a variety of sins. No revenues? You better...”
— Robert Scoble
— Robert Scoble
Jan 3rd
Schultz: a little birdie told me you're dating THE BACHELOR
Simko: Who said that?! Your little birdie is drunk.
Schultz: really?
Simko: Definitely - so let's lay that rumor to rest right now...
Schultz: but I heard you were hanging and talking a lot
Simko: That may or may not be true but certainly not dating
Schultz: so what's the story?
Simko: The story is - he left for Hawaii on Tuesday and is good people. The end.
Schultz: damn you for wasting a perfectly good bachelor
Simko: Who said that?! Your little birdie is drunk.
Schultz: really?
Simko: Definitely - so let's lay that rumor to rest right now...
Schultz: but I heard you were hanging and talking a lot
Simko: That may or may not be true but certainly not dating
Schultz: so what's the story?
Simko: The story is - he left for Hawaii on Tuesday and is good people. The end.
Schultz: damn you for wasting a perfectly good bachelor
Jan 3rd
Watch
Jan 2nd
“Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.”
— Jon Stewart
— Jon Stewart
Jan 1st
Jan 1st
Thanks to the wonders of Facebook (and my sister’s...
Jan 1st
“If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I’m not...”
— Angelina Jolie
— Angelina Jolie
Jan 1st
Silhouette Masterpiece Theatre website.
Jan 1st
“Designers are now like models - everyone wants to be one.”
— Peter Beard
— Peter Beard
Jan 1st
Alexa: He ended up playing poker with Leo DiCaprio and the rest of them. It then became a nightly pastime mostly because there wasn't much else to do there
Simko: Hmmm...
Alexa: Don't worry - I have given him exactly 4 days to tell everyone he has met since birth about it and then he is banned from mentioning it ever again
Simko: Brilliant
Simko: Hmmm...
Alexa: Don't worry - I have given him exactly 4 days to tell everyone he has met since birth about it and then he is banned from mentioning it ever again
Simko: Brilliant
Jan 1st
I really hope that this year I am much more organized....
Jan 1st
“If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it...”
— David Sedaris
— David Sedaris
Jan 1st
Alexa Rad has returned. As it turns out she has not actually...
Jan 1st
Simko: Happy New Year!
Mom: Happy New Year. Your sister just drove her car into a ditch on her way home from the Catskill Mountains.
Simko: Is she ok? Can the car be driven?
Mom: Yes and she doesn't know
Simko: Has Dad already left for Florida? What did he say about all this?
Mom: I believe his response was "there will be sanctions"
Simko: Ohhhhhhhh Ohhhh She's so in troubleeeeeee
Mom: Happy New Year. Your sister just drove her car into a ditch on her way home from the Catskill Mountains.
Simko: Is she ok? Can the car be driven?
Mom: Yes and she doesn't know
Simko: Has Dad already left for Florida? What did he say about all this?
Mom: I believe his response was "there will be sanctions"
Simko: Ohhhhhhhh Ohhhh She's so in troubleeeeeee
Jan 1st
Manhattan feels sort of like this during the holidays…
Dec 31st
“Cheers to… youth!”
— Andrew Baldwin
— Andrew Baldwin
Dec 30th
“Who thought naming a brand after the non-selective division...”
— Justine Javier-Borja
— Justine Javier-Borja
Dec 30th