April 2008
Texting Your Way To Love →
Because everyone is guilty of flirxting…
Sister: do you know what happens when you put so many engineers in one building so late at night?
Simko: Do I want to?
Sister: they pair off and breed. I just had to sit in a room working while an Asian and a tanless hippie made out next to me.
“Suburb: a place that isn’t city, isn’t country, and isn’t...”
– Mignon McLaughlin
Heading to Connecticut to tie up a few loose ends before fleeing the East Coast…
“What is the city but the people?”
– William Shakespeare
“All cities are mad: but the madness is gallant. All cities are beautiful: but...”
– Christopher Morley
Upon (re)evaluation, I have come to the conclusion that my love for Will Arnett is probably due to his delectable vocabulary. Surprisingly, there aren’t many people who can (accurately) express themselves using terms such as “unsavory”, “trouncing” and “magical journey” during interviews…
“Clearly, then, the city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.”
– Desmond Morris
A ridiculous statement deserves ridiculous evidence.
1 tag
Simko: Republicans sleep with their socks on.
Jackson: Is that true?
Simko: I just felt like making an outlandish statement.
The Golden Pear Cafe isn’t spelled “The Golden Pair Cafe”? Thanks (for nothing) Google.
“Cheese? Milk’s leap toward immortality.”
– Clifton Fadiman
Simko: Impressive - I'm not even sure how to respond to that...
Javier-Borja: Exactly. I've learned that in some situations there's just a Grand Canyon between what you want and what you get.
OMC - How Bizarre… Because it’s...
“It was a matter of, ‘Maybe you shouldn’t drink absinthe and do...”
– Dita Von Teese (on why she left Marilyn Manson)
There is definitely a direct correlation between how much stress I am under and how much the notification sound of Gmail Chat annoys me. Mute.
You know when you have water stuck in your ear, so you hop on one foot (like a complete idiot) in an attempt to get it out? Right. Well, I feel equally foolish relieved after blogging - except that it usually clears my brain, not my ear… Or something.
“There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or...”
– Josh Groban
Oliver: that coffee today was delicious
Simko: Sarcasm noted, but last I checked you (also) had a phone that could do more than send passive-aggressive whiny emails...
Oliver: nope, my assertive phone broke yesterday
Simko: Touché salesman, touché.
“I sought to create an extremely luxurious and highly contemporary object. I took...”
– Helle Damkjaer
Sister: I walked into class at 10 (my 8 and 9 were not happening) running on 4 hours of sleep over the past few days - of course the teacher calls on me and asks what I got for the variable. I reply "1" and she asks how. I respond "I took the square root of 1^2 + 1^2"
Simko: Consensus?
Sister: Professor: "I like your approach. However, I believe 1 + 1 = 2"
Simko: HAhahahaha Poor Mom and Dad... You were supposed to be the smart one!
“Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never...”
– Erma Bombeck
Simko: My eye is killing me
Chen: You should have seen my miserable 5th Avenue stroll this morning... Sunglasses on, banana in hand - as if it were my walking cane.
This weather brings back fond childhood memories and makes me wonder whatever happened to Umbro…
“I’ve been in New York for four years now, and I feel that I have done it....”
– Margherita Missoni
1 tag
You can’t really appreciate the full magnitude of a stye unless you wear contacts, can’t find your glasses and have a job that requires you to spend endless hours behind a computer… Trust me.
“The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It’s like you’re...”
– Pee-wee Herman
1 tag
“I’m not being condescending. I’m too busy thinking about far more...”
– Jimmy Carr
Trapster →
The modern cyber equivalent of flashing your headlights to warn others of police speed traps.
Simko: You're right - she's gorgeous.
Bell: Gorgeous is a gross understatement. The woman has the legs of a baby giraffe!